In some ways, the feeling of separation from a loved one or even from a friend whom I saw everyday is acutely felt. Like coming home to an unlit house. Like smelling only my own food in the kitchen. Like turning down the volume of my speakers so as not to disturb my housemates, only to realise that they aren't here anymore. Empty, gnawing feeling in the stomach? Perhaps, but more importantly, it gives me room to pause and reflect on the important things in life. "No man is an island" ("but one can be a peninsula," said a cheesy high school pal) Whoever said that is pretty darn right.
However, there are good things about solitude too. Suddenly I found myself withdrawing into a shell, able to focus very keenly on certain things such as my studies and interviewing. I made a list of things to do, just to distract myself from useless self-pitying thoughts. Recycling, selling stuff, trashing old things, etc. things that I still have control over. Feels good, in a way.
2 comments:
We are all living the consequences of our own decisions, which were made for the promise of a better future. I am certain that once we make it through this, and we will, we'll come out better, stronger. I miss you lots--we'll cheer each other on. :-)
Awww....
But hey, consider the upside -- no more Pauline popping out asking random questions.
But I guess I'm still online. Hmmm.
Alright, I'll stop wasting your blog space. :)
Post a Comment